LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Bo Hitchens, a 40-year-old X-ray tech told friends and family this week that, after much soul searching, he had decided to venture outside greater Loma Linda for the first time. Hitchens said that the decision “did not come easily” and that he had tossed and turned for countless nights agonizing about what to do.
Although he admitted that he had theoretically known for years that there was a world outside Loma Linda, Hitchens confided to colleagues at his send-off party that up until this point, he had found so many wonderful things to do and see around Loma Linda that he just hadn’t felt the need to venture farther afield.
“Everything you could ever need is in Loma Linda,” said Hitchens, rattling off the names of the Adventist churches, schools, hospitals, stores, gyms, tax accountants and funeral homes that were within walking distance of his bachelor pad. “I honestly don’t see why anyone would choose to live anywhere else.”
Hitchens was finally persuaded to leave Loma Linda because he found Suzie Haven on AdventistMatch. Although he had serious reservations about anyone living outside Loma Linda, Hitchens admits to having been seriously taken by his romantic interest’s dedication to bird watching and the most advanced of Pathfinder knot-tying innovations.
When the two decided to meet in person, Hitchens says that he felt strongly convicted that it would have been less-than-chivalrous to ask Suzie to make the journey to come see him for their first in-person date. He therefore decided upon his leap of faith.
Although he has some concerns about what what he may encounter upon exiting Loma Linda city limits, Hitchens has promised family members that he will stare straight ahead on the freeway while doing an aggressive 75 mph average all the way to Suzie’s place in Riverside.