CAIRO, Egypt --- Archaeologists in Egypt have found what they are calling "definitive proof that carob was as disgusting in ancient times as it is now."
The proof was found in a recently-discovered 4,400 year-old tomb in the Saqqara pyramid complex near Cairo. The tomb was covered with colorful hieroglyphs warning against carob, saying that it tastes like mildly sweetened mud and that it should never, ever be used in cookies.
The tomb featured drawings of ancient characters bent over vomiting carob as well as others shedding tears over the "gravely disappointing ingredient."
Deeply hidden in the grave was a scroll warning future generations against production or sale of the substance. Sadly, this scroll never made it to an ABC store.