Adventist Church offers tithing discount if you pay for 2016 upfront

You've got until the end of January....
You’ve got until the end of January….
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Seventh-day Adventists have an opportunity to save significantly on their tithing expenses in 2016. The General Conference is giving every baptized member until the end of January to pay tithe at a reduced rate of 7% of their anticipated income provided they can pay for the entire year upfront.

“This is an opportunity to be an extra cheerful giver while saving a wad of cash,” said Stewardship Department spokesperson Nichollin Dyme.

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Critics of the new offer were quick to point out that between recovering from Christmas overspending and forking over a tithing lump sum, January could prove to be too much of a lean cow month for the average Adventist.

Dyme has so far held his ground: “You’ll be OK. We have instructed our pastors to hold off on their more emotional offering appeals for church remodeling until people start getting their tax refunds.”


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  1. Hilarious Clinton

    This is no way to run a church, and no way to run a country. We gotta collect every penny. Memo to IRS: “No discounts, no write-offs. Squeeze ’em for all they’re worth!”

  2. Donald Dump

    After Bill Cosby was arrested, he endorsed Hillary Clinton for President. Due to Cosby’s excellent reputation for respecting women, his endorsement has boosted Hillary in the polls. The only person who could equal Bill Cosby’s endorsement would be Bill Clinton — another shining example of respect for women.

  3. Richard Mills

    Would it OK for me to leave a “Widow’s Mite” in the tithe envelopes? It’s all I got!! Is it Biblical to pay tithe in advance? Please quote Scripture or SOP. If I can get my employer to pay me one year in advance, I might try it. The one who pays the most wins the prize. This sounds a lot like the times of Martin Luther. Woe iz me

  4. Myck

    Where is the Church hearing to? God’s church is not a marketing business. Stop playing God and playing with holy things such as tithe. God said 10% of your income. As you receive not in advance.

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