Adventist singles praying for someone cute to manifest in church

praying without ceasing
praying without ceasing
As Sabbath approaches, single Seventh-day Adventists across the globe have confirmed that they are fervently praying for a cute single person to manifest in their local church on Sabbath morning.

“This is a prayer request that transcends age, gender, race and culture in the Seventh-day Adventist Church,” said Andrews University-based Campus Prayer Ministries coordinator, Busc Ando. “Everyone is dreaming about the moment when those sanctuary doors open to reveal the shining face of Mr. or Miss. Perfect.”

“The intensity of these prayers only grows after college if Adventists graduate single,” said Ando. “The pickings will appear to be exceptionally slim when you come back to your local church after college and realize that all your one-time options have moved away or are married off.”

Ando stressed the importance of not giving up hope that someone cute and Bible-savvy will eventually turn up. He said that he applauded the millions of Adventists who at least weekly lift up in prayer their hopes that a cute visitor will make this coming Sabbath a particularly happy one. “Don’t stop with just the prayer,” said Ando. “Send out invites and save a seat.”

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17 Comments

    1. Theo Cruise

      I posted a rather long and thoughtful response, both thanking you as well as complementing the thoughts, texts, and foundations laid for a Spot On case against our antiquated and totally off base rules concerning Jewelry!

      The rather moronic quizz at the end of what I shared, in support of your article, at the very end told me I was a robot when I checked “human”. When it suggested I re-write it all – I suggested that with my new found robot powers, I would rather push my gold and Koa-Wood diamond man’s wedding ring around the neck of the author of that ridiculous security “test”…. It
      makes our TSA appear genius. Besides it is past old folks bedtime!

      1. Morris Lippman

        Hey Theo. I enjoyed that article, too. I tried the security test and it passed just fine. You have to click “Human” and answer the two simple math questions, then it will submit just fine. If you saved your writing somewhere, I bet the author would like to see it. So try it again.

  1. Billy Bob

    This actually did happen to me. I was praying, and when I opened my eyes the most gorgeous knockout beauty manifested. But I wasn’t in church; I was in a dance club. We ended up falling in love and we lived happily ever after.

  2. richard mills

    Is this cuteness thing Biblical? Just wanna know. A gal eating Little Debbies can be cute. My wife is cute. My wife say I am cute. My kitty kats are cute. My kids are cute. I have two cute grand daughters who are still looking for Mr. Right or Perfect.. They attend all the famous SDA meetings, etc. around the USA. No luck yet. Maybe one of youse cute guys will show up at their church next Sabbath? My latest great grand daughter is the cutest of them all. Will somebody explain what the SOP says on this topic? You gonna be surprised!! Woe iz me and I mean WOE IZ ME!!

    1. millie richards

      I am sick and tired of my addiction to social media. Therefore, I am going on a “social media fast” for 40 days and 40 nights. All during that period of fasting from all social media, I will be live-tweeting my observations and keeping my Facebooks friends updated (at least hourly) on my experience.

      1. richard mills

        Yo, Millie-we all sick & tired of being sick & tired. We should all join you in support. As soon as I finish my hoard of Little Debbies I hope to fast as long as I can. I need self discipline. I need encouragement. Hopefully, someone cute will enter my life. At church today, I will be looking for that cute gal walking into my boring life. I think I see her coming thru the front door now!! Woe iz me.

  3. oldschool

    Remember, cute (like beauty) may be only skin deep! Cute at 50 or 60 may wear awfully thin, even irritatingly so. Can she bake a cherry pie, make a good cottage cheese loaf, or know the right recipe for haystacks? Does he know how to set the flame on the grill to fix that fresh caught salmon, or till the soil to grow the best veggies in the neighborhood? Cute won’t cut it out here on the farm!

    Hey Grandpa, what’s for supper!

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