SILVER SPRING, Md. --- Due to what has been described as an epidemic of bad praise and worship leading in Seventh-day Adventism, every church will have an auto-tune feature fitted to their PA systems to correct the mistakes of song leaders.
The decision was approved by General Conference President Ted Wilson, who said that his ears were "physically hurting" after decades of touring Adventist churches and being subjected to the best and, more often, the worst of Adventist singing.
Although the decision comes with the considerable cost of retrofitting the entire denomination's PA systems, GC spokesperson Oye Nomas said, "You can't put a price on quality song services or special music numbers.
"The Aventist Church will bear any price in this quest to correct the bad singing of far too many of our brothers and sisters," said Nomas.