SILVER SPRING, Md. --- "The process of implanting microchips in all full-time church employees is under way," announced Larissa Lim, General Conference IT Innovations Director at the 2015 Global Adventist Internet Network Conference (GAiN) which was held exclusively online and concluded yesterday.
Lim explained that, in an effort to harness the possibilities of Radio-Frequency IDentification (RFID) chip technology, the world church has begun placing microchips just under the skin of employees on their right hands and foreheads.
She said that the new chips would allow for key-less entry into offices with a wave of the hand or simple bowing of the head. "Gone are the days of having to punch or swipe in for work, our chip scanners will take care of all that," said Lim. "You'll never have to remember pin codes for anything at work again --- all of that info is stored on your chip."
"We admit that there's a little bit of very temporary pain as the chip is implanted but from there onward the advantages are great," said Lim. "It shouldn't hurt anymore than would a simple stapling of your hand or face."
When asked if the chip implants had caused her any unwanted physical side effects, Lim said that she had not yet received her chips. "I'm scheduled to have the implant as soon as we get done with beta testing on problem employees," said Lim.