Adventists Launch Humility Olympics
SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a bid to encourage humility among members, the Adventist Church has announced a brand new event on the denominational calendar. The Humility Olympics will feature Read more […]
Report: High-Pressure Altar Calls Way Harder On Zoom
ADVENTIST WORLD — According to a report in the magazine Anyone Else?, high-pressure altar calls have taken a serious hit during the coronavirus crisis. Evangelists used to telling packed, Read more […]
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Most Segregated Institution In America Condemns Racism
The wealthiest, most powerful nation in the world is reeling from the fatal results of systemic racism. As Americans grieve the latest atrocities, the most segregated institution in the country Read more […]
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Adventist Churches Not Re-Opening Until Everyone Gets Haircut
Finally. ADVENTIST WORLD — Conference and union leaders across the Adventist world have warned their churches will stay shut until their members get haircuts. “Lack of access to hair salons Read more […]
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Twitter Fact-Checks Amazing Facts
GRANITE BAY, Calif. — Social media giant Twitter has extended its fact-checking practices to tweets by Adventist media ministry, Amazing Facts. Twitter has added “learn the facts about Read more […]
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Trump Eating Nothing But Haystacks To Boost Coronavirus Resistance
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Reporters at today’s White House press briefing were notified that President Donald Trump has taken to exclusively eating haystacks to boost his resistance to COVID-19 infection. In Read more […]
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Area Adventist Kicked Out Of Zoom Church For Clapping
BOOMBOX, Mich. — Local Adventist Brent Krisma is on the hunt for a new online church service after last Sabbath’s broadcast from his home congregation went sideways. Krisma had been so moved Read more […]
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Wilson Sets Up Nominating Committee Of One To Replace Jackson
BFFs SILVER SPRING, Md. — Calling North American Division president Dan Jackson, his “brother from another mother,” General Conference President Ted Wilson acted quickly as Jackson’s official Read more […]
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Adventist Drive-In Theater Churches Feature Priority Angel Parking
https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Autokino_Hueckelhoven.jpg#mw-jump-to-licenseImage Credit: ErriTollsten ADVENTIST WORLD — As more and more Adventist congregations have turned to drive-in Read more […]
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Ordination Practice Scrapped For Being Too Touchy-Feely
ADVENTIST WORLD — Leaders of the Adventist Church have announced the scrapping of ordination. The reason given for the discontinuation of the practice was the “touchy-feely” nature of ordination Read more […]
