Cliff Goldstein Keeping Track Of Who’s Late To Sabbath School

ADVENTIST WORLD — Sabbath School lesson editor, Cliff Goldstein, has let slip he is keeping detailed records of Adventists that come late to Sabbath School. The author has been working with Read more […]

Miss Universe Pageant To Be Judged Solely On Inner Beauty

NEW YORK CITY, N.Y. — Officials have announced that the next Miss Universe beauty pageant will be judged solely on the quality of contestants’ inner beauty. Each competitor will be rated on Read more […]

GC Launches Pre-Pathfinder Program For Babies Still In Womb

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The GC announced last month that it will be launching a new companion ministry to Pathfinders, Adventurers, Eager Beavers and Little Lambs. Introducing: the Mustard Seeds. Aimed Read more […]

Vatican Charging Adventists $666 For Tourist Visa

Vatican City — Adventists hoping to visit the Vatican are being charged a new “Theological Reciprocity Visa” fee costing $666. The fee allows Adventists free access to the historical sights Read more […]

ABC Stores Announce Sale On Gold, Frankincense And Myrrh

ADVENTIST WORLD — Adventist Book Centers everywhere are featuring a Christmas sale of gold, frankincense and myrrh products. All wise Adventists are invited to stock up on items from the Read more […]

Loma Linda Releases “Nothing Is Impossible Burger”

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Loma Linda University nutritionists launched the Nothing Is Impossible Burger earlier today in a bid to “reassert Adventist veggie product mojo” in an increasingly crowded Read more […]

Buttigieg Takes Heat For Being “Whiter Than Walla Walla”

SOUTH BEND, Ind. — As he rises in the polls, US presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg is struggling to appeal to black voters. After it emerged that the South Bend, Indiana mayor’s campaign Read more […]

AMAZING: Amazon Launches “Before You Click We Will Answer” Delivery Service

UNITED STATES – In a truly inspired service upgrade, Amazon launched its “Before You Click We Will Answer” delivery service today. The service means that indecisive customers who have no idea Read more […]

BLACKPINK Releases “Favorite Adventist Hymns” Album

SEOUL, Korea — Fresh off the news that their music video Ddu-Du Ddu-Du was the first K-pop video to reach 1 billion views on YouTube, South Korean girl group BLACKPINK has announced that their Read more […]