SILVER SPRING, Md. — In the biggest reversal in church policy since, well, EVER, the GC is now requiring married Adventists to wear wedding bands. “Although we won’t be opening jewellery Read more […]
Mole Hill, Tenn. — Stor Kallare, a licensed contractor with a specialty in “luxury, prophecy-savvy design” is currently over-booked transforming the basements of Adventists across the nation, Read more […]
BACKFIRE, Mich. — Gun-loving Adventist, Trig Dedo, couldn’t be prouder of his hero, Adventist World War II veteran, Desmond Doss, who saved 75 lives in the Battle of Okinawa, all without carrying Read more […]
BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — Bebo Greenley, who until recently was music pastor at Heavenly Waters Adventist Church in Berrien Springs, is on the hunt for fresh job leads after being fired last Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — GC Missions strategists have confirmed that visits to Orlando’s Epcot Center satisfy all the requirements for overseas mission as the place has a “super international feel Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Due to a last-minute scheduling challenge, Hope Channel will be hosting tonight’s Democratic presidential debate instead of CBS. The Adventist channel plans to break Read more […]
WORLDWIDE — To minimize the chances of people experiencing spiritual growth of any kind, Remnant Complex Industries has just launched a legalistic sunblock that protects users from receiving Read more […]
LONDON, England — Boris Johnson, Britain’s new Prime Minister, has committed to wasting no time in hastening the fulfillment of Daniel’s Nebuchadnezzar Statue prophecy in regards to modern-day Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference has weighed in on the Marvel Studios announcement that Natalie Portmam will play Thor in the upcoming franchise installment “Thor: Love and Thunder.” Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Earlier today, a canoe flying the General Conference flag was seized by a North American Division kayak patrol that claimed the vessel had strayed into the NAD corner of Read more […]
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