ADVENTIST WORLD — Results are in from the General Conference Office or Archives and Statistics: After a trial week of letting women run the Adventist church, attendance has doubled at services Read more […]
The “Blind Faith” Men’s Retreat ended today with an entirely eye-less crowd of men trying to find their way out of an auditorium. Speakers at the retreat had advocated a stridently literal Read more […]
Underwater — Representatives of the global tuna population are begging humans to try out Loma Linda Tuno, the new fish-free protein released by the veggie brand. The life-long swimmers vowed Read more […]
HEAVEN – Construction angels have been working overtime lately as an ultra-exclusive gated community in heaven takes shape. The subdivision will only house Adventists and is being built so Read more […]
BREAKING NEWS SILVER SPRING, Md. — A compliance committee investigation into the daily activities of the Biblical Research Institute staff has revealed that the team of Read more […]
Loma Linda, Calif. — Bill Worthington, one of the faces of the Loma Linda Blue Zone, was busted by veggie cops yesterday as he was devouring a cheeseburger for the very first time. Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — As of this coming Monday, ABC stores will stock Ellen G., an Alexa-like advice pod brimming with Ellen G. White’s advice on just about every life issue. Unlike Alexa Read more […]
ADVENTIST WORLD — In a bold, blanket move, Adventist colleges have replaced all campus security personnel with robots. Although the initial capital outlay has forced a substantial tuition Read more […]
MENLO PARK, Calif. — A new “Adventist” filter released by Instagram allows church members to automatically edit out jewelry from their pictures before posting them to the platform. Instagram Read more […]
WEST FRANKFORT, Ill. — In an Adventist first, the Three Angels Broadcasting Network (3ABN) aired a FIFA Women’s World Cup game. The Adventist network agreed to air the USA vs Thailand soccer Read more […]
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