SILVER SPRING, Md. — The Adventist Supreme Court has found a member guilty of Sabbath swimming despite what he claims was an entirely accidental fall into a friend’s pool. The incident which Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — A virtual thunderbolt struck Adventism today as the General Conference headquarters of the church sent out a push notification to members’ phones announcing the Second Coming. The Read more […]
ADVENTIST WORLD — In a move towards fresher hospitality for Adventist churches, greeters will be required to use breath mints as of this coming Sabbath. The new policy was established after Read more […]
COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Southern Adventist University has raised the price of students fines to keep up with inflation. All of the items on the university’s impressively comprehensive list of Read more […]
INLAND EMPIRE, Calif. — A devout Adventist well known for claiming to be “100% Spirit-led” sheepishly sank into a back pew last Sabbath after getting hopelessly lost on the way to church. Dubbel Read more […]
ADVENTIST WORLD — Effective immediately, Adventist elementary schools, academies and universities have been ordered to stop keeping score during any kind of sport. The new rule is designed Read more […]
LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Anyone curious as to whether vegetarians can pile on the pounds over the holidays need look no further than the average Adventist congregation say researchers at Loma Linda Read more […]
PHOENIX, Ariz. — A local watering hole realized a little too late that it had advertised its Happy Hour offerings to the wrong crowd. Admitting to a “slight miscalculation,” Pit Stop Bar Read more […]
ARLINGTON, Texas — Hot off a successful Christmas tour, popular a cappella group Pentatonix has announced the release of their own remix of Adventist classic We Have This Hope. Kevin “K.O.” Read more […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Linguistic Society of America has recognized ‘Adventist’ as a language unto itself. The organization says that the “astounding amount of jargon in the Adventist denomination Read more […]
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