WASHINGTON, D.C. — A recent conversion to Adventist NEWSTART principles led to President Donald Trump’s now-infamous water sipping during a recent speech. Trump had relentlessly mocked Republican Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Disney’s The Lion King has been approved by the Adventist Church as an approved “Sabbath movie.” This means that Adventists will be free to watch the animated classic Read more […]
MANILA, Philippines — US President Donald Trump and Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte led heads of state from across Southeast Asia and beyond in singing the Adventist favorite chorus “Side Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The 2017 edition and of the Seventh-day Adventist Yearbook will clearly mark entities of the church considered to be rebel unions. The rebel unions (so called because Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The Adventist Church has launched the latest in a succession of dating apps for faithful members. PANIC! is specifically designed for single members aged 30 and above. “There Read more […]
Los Angeles, Calif. — Researchers at the University of Southern California have discovered that some of the quirks shared among Adventists are the result of intense inbreeding. “Adventists Read more […]
COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — Walla Walla University has confirmed that the final remaining single students at the university just got engaged to one another. Kristian Lentisimo got down on one Read more […]
ADVENTIST WORLD — Adventist tithe envelopes are being reprinted to include a line for indulgences. A General Conference statement explaining the new “giving opportunity” said that it had Read more […]
LONDON, England — An Adventist woman paused in prayer this afternoon, pleading for the sun to stand still so she could finish her long list of chores before sunset. Franically listing the Read more […]
BREAKING NEWS SILVER SPRING, Md. — In continued celebration of the 500th anniversary of the Reformation, the General Conference headquarters of the Adventist Church will be increasing the Read more […]
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