BREAKING NEWS SILVER SPRING, Md. — Torrential rain is drenching Silver Spring as the angelic hosts mourn today’s GC Annual Council meetings before they have even started. Wiping tears Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Annual Council is in full swing, but with a free afternoon on Friday, October 6, several members of the General Conference Executive Committee decided to sneak off to the Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Wearing jeans to church now comes with serious consequences. As of this Sabbath, denim wearers will automatically be handed reflective vests and sent into the church Read more […]
ADVENTIST WORLD — Adventist homes everywhere will soon be fitted with Sabbath sirens that announce Friday sunsets with a blaring alarm that promises to freeze Adventist rushing to finish Friday Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Last-minute preparations are under way for Annual Council and church leaders have announced that the thornier issues up for debate next week will be settled by way of cage Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — On the eve of Annual Council, church officials have unveiled a nuclear weapon on the stage of the GC auditorium. As a white sheet was pulled off the warhead, officials Read more […]
BREAKING NEWS SILVER SPRINGS, Md. — AV guys across the Adventist world have been warned that blaming feedback, malfunctioning mics and all manner of other technical difficulty on the Devil Read more […]
HAWTHORNE, Calif. — Billionaire inventor Elon Musk of Tesla and Space X fame has unveiled his boldest project to date: rockets that will get Adventists to church on time. Musk said that the Read more […]
WACO, Tex. — Fresh off announcing that they are calling it quits with their wildly popular home renovation show, Fixer Upper stars Chip and Joanna Gaines have decided to try their hand at building Read more […]
LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Adventist couples expecting babies have crashed registration sites for a new kind of pregnancy scan. The Sabatistascan allows Adventist parents to know with 99% certainty Read more […]
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