MAGALIA, Calif. — Paranoid Adventist Sayns Adatimes of Magalia, California spends his time frightening fellow Adventists and random passersby with “indisputable” current events updates that Read more […]
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Disruptive flatulence in Adventist churches may soon be a thing of the past. The General Conference headquarters of the church has contracted with an innovative pew cushion Read more […]
BREAKING NEWS PHOENIX, Arizona — The Adventist Development and Relief Agency (ADRA) has launched a worldwide appeal for oven mitt donations on behalf of drivers in Phoenix, Arizona. Steering Read more […]
COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Ivanka Trump, a Sabbath-keeping convert to Judaism, has agreed to talk about Sabbath observance at Southern Adventist University. The First Daughter who has openly discussed Read more […]
NEW YORK, N.Y. — HBO’s John Oliver talked about women’s ordination within Adventism in the most recent airing of his extremely popular topical comedy show, Last Week Tonight. The British Read more […]
IRVING, Texas — Diamond jewelry chain Zales launched a ring today that has been approved by the Adventist Church for member use. Zales named the gold watch ring The Adventist in celebration Read more […]
BREAKING NEWS SILVER SPRING, Md. — A Pathfinder honor about the dangers of rock and roll was launched today. Would-be patch recipients will have to flawlessly recite 28 reasons why a drum Read more […]
HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — In a surprise development today, Simon Cowell signed a contract to judge special music performances at Adventist churches. Cowell who is known for his scathing critiques Read more […]
DUSTER, Kan. — Joe Twister, a devout Adventist blew off both a tornado warning and an obvious sighting today to make sure he mowed his lawn before Sabbath. Twister told his wife and incredulous Read more […]
BREAKING NEWS SILVER SPRING, Md. — In a move aimed at encouraging “appropriate Adventist attire,” the Adventist Church has introduced a preferred seating policy to reward anyone wearing a Read more […]
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