Biblical Research Institute: Carob in violation of 9th Commandment

No longer will this child be lied to...
No longer will this child be lied to…
TAKOMA PARK, Md. — In a landmark ruling for what many are calling the Supreme Court of the Adventist Church, the Biblical Research Institute has ruled that current advertising for carob products in Adventist Book Center (ABC) stores is in violation of the 9th commandment.

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“False advertising is as good an example of bearing false witness as we have ever come across, said the institute’s spokesperson, Jeff Grady.  “You can’t advertise faintly-flavored mud as chocolate.  That’s a bald-faced lie.”

In a meticulously footnoted statement, the Biblical Research Institute elaborated on the ruling: “We as Adventists run the danger of focusing on the Sabbath Commandment to the exclusion of the rest.  It is important to read scripture in a balanced manner.  The ninth commandment is every bit as important as the fourth.”

The ruling was immediately supported by a broad cross-section of Adventists who feel like they have been lied to since they first stepped foot in an ABC store.

Sixty-seven-year-old Jeannie Henderson was elated to hear the news: “Finally we have found the courage as a church to stand up and speak out against this blatant deception that has been swept under the rugs of our ABC stores for decades!”

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Although the Biblical Research Institute has a long list of cases pending (“Are drum sets in church biblical?” ” What is the difference between throwing a frisbee and a football on Sabbath?”), they have drafted some recommendations for all ABC stores in regards to future carob advertising.

Carob packets will now have to carry the written warning, “Tastes nothing like chocolate,” as well as a full-color image of a child puking.



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12 Comments

  1. Janette

    “You can’t advertise faintly-flavored mud as chocolate. That’s a bald-faced lie.”

    Finally!! I’ve waited years for someone to finally admit this… LOL

    “Tastes nothing like chocolate” Amen to that!!

  2. Alycia Rohrenback

    I’ve never seen a package saying that carob is “chocolate”. The first person who gave it to me told it was like chocolate but definitely different taste. You have to think of it on it’s own. This shouldn’t be such a big deal. Whoever is sore over it, sorry about the temporary bad taste in your mouth but there are more important things to use our time and resources on. Where is our focus?

  3. I’m always amazed that there is at least one person responding who missed the “satirically Adventist” at the upper right of each of these pages. Written by Adventists, enjoying a nice, yet thoughtful laugh at themselves, these blogs are also quite thought-provoking.

  4. Stephen M. Harrelson "Himself"

    Then there are the Food Commies who walk up to me and say “It’s” Healthy try it. I automatically envision a Manure Sandwich, I don’t want to know if it’s HEALTHY , does the stuff taste good ? All food is Healthy , some of it has liabilities! Steak is Healthy, et al. My parents , grandparents , and great grandparents are being insulted because they ate it and died at 80 plus years, , It’s healthy, my Donkey ! I want food with its’ own special flavor NOT a fake flavor. Don’t you food commies know that Beef is concentrated vegetables , I know Vegetables are easier to catch. lol

  5. Ray Kraft

    Carob is natural. It’s a bean that grows on a tree.

    Chocolate is natural. It’s a bean that grows on a tree.

    If God made everything, then God made both.

    So why (some people think) is Carob better than Chocolate?

    If God made everything perfect, then Chocolate is perfect, yeah?

    • For those of us recovering chocoholics, there is a difference. I can’t stop at two chocolate bars. It’s relatively easy to stop at one carob bar. And carob was a staple for John the Baptist. Scholars believe the “locusts and honey” he ate, was actually “carob pods and honey.”

      • JoAnn Hall

        I agree, Elizabeth. I love chocolate and I love carob. I have never thought carob tasted like chocolate but it is a nice replacement for some recipes like the Carob Fudge recipe In Barbara’s Kerr’s Taste Of Health cookbook. If it was good enough for John the Baptist, it is good enough for me.

      • Ray Kraft

        What’s the point in being a “recovering” chocoholic?

        Why would you want to be, say, a “recovering waterholic?’ We’re all addicted to water, a couple days without water we’ll kill for water, a week or two without water we’d dead from kicking the water addiction.

        Medical research all tells us that chocolate is a healthy health food, so we can feel real sorry for ol’ John the Baptist who had to live on carob and probably never tasted chocolate in his life . . . if he had, I’ll bet a pound of chocolate he’da been a “recovering carobohoholic” in a blink!

  6. Ray

    the funny thing is that there is a ring of truth to this article. Since many times people will try to convince you that it does taste like chocolate. Or that they can make it taste like chocolate and then you try it and you discover that they have never tried chocolate before either that or they have no taste buds. 😉 lol.

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