SILVER SPRING, Md. --- The Biblical Research Institute announced this morning that three weeks of intense study had led the team to conclude that it was unclear what would come first: the reopening of the federal government or the Second Coming.
BRI Spokesperson Rey James said that, just as with the Second Coming, nobody knows the day or the hour that the government will reopen. He discouraged Adventists from trying to predict when the government shutdown would end, saying that any such date setting was doomed for significant disappointment.
"The one thing we all know is that the Second Coming will happen soon," said James. "That's more than can be said for an end to this government shutdown."