Bleak Prospects: Silver Spring 7-Elevens Flooded With Applications From Panicked GC Officials Facing Election Season

SILVER SPRING, Md. — 7-Eleven stores in the Silver Spring area have run out of application forms after being flooded by employment requests from GC officials worried about their re-election prospects.

With GC Session 2020 just around the corner, some of the convenience store applicants have offered to jump ship to 7-Eleven before next summer as the chain offers several times more job security than the cavernous denominational headquarters.

“We are running into a logistical nightmare because all our recent job applicants are requesting Friday night and Saturdays off,” said a local store manager. “Many candidates are also asking about whether they have to sign any compliance documents ahead of their hire dates.”


SPONSORED LINKS

You’ve had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.

.

(Visited 413 times, 1 visits today)

One comment

  1. Richard Mills

    7-11’s do not give you Sabbaths off. This is the busiest day of the week. 7-11 is in the business of making money. Remember the time the GC dropped 7-11 from its investments due to selling a certain adult magazine? Also, 7-11 employees need to know how to make a veggie-slurpees, cook pork filled hot dogs, keep the caffeine pots filled at all times, sell tobacco products and who knows what other unclean items they must touch. I know. Been there. Done that. I do love the slurpees. Lots of sugar!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *