BREAKING: Trump Directed Southern’s Campus Safety To Spy On Biden

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COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. --- Recently-surfaced Oval Office call transcripts that were declassified this morning show that President Donald Trump directed Campus Safety officers at Southern Adventist University to spy on presidential candidate and former US Vice President, Joe Biden.

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Praising them as the "best in the surveilance business," Trump asked Southern's campus safety personnel to "leave no stone unturned" and "take this as seriously as prayer garden monitoring."

Trump requested a full accounting of Biden's comings and goings with special attention paid to any finable offences like skipping chapel or not wearing a tie to Friday night vespers.


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One Comment

  1. Richard Mills

    Ain’t nobody gonna spy on me. I know how to blend into the local surroundings. I know the local lingo, the type of clothes to wear, hoot order local foods at the diner and other secret stuff. I already told Joe Biden how to avoid the Trump spies. Where in the world is Joe Biden?

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