Parents That ‘Can’t Afford’ Adventist Schooling For Kids Drive Off In BMW

A pair of parents who’ve been singing the “we can’t afford Adventist schooling” tune for years, were observed cruising away from church last Saturday in a sleek, brand new BMW, their new wheels Read more […]

Blockbuster Sequel To Feature Barbie Training For Medical Mission at Loma Linda

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Following the roaring success of her summer blockbuster hit, studio bosses promise Barbie will soon back with a whole new adventure of medical mission at the Inland Empire’s Read more […]

Pastor Saša Gunjević First Adventist Pastor To Maintain Credentials After Wearing Non-Regulation Socks

Pastor Sasha Gunjević of Hamburg-Grindelberg Adventist Church has made international Adventist headlines lately for sporting non-regulation socks during his sermons. The pastor is the first Adventist Read more […]

How to Spot When an Adventist is Bragging

We Adventists like to at least appear humble. But once in a while some status signaling happens. You know an Adventist is bragging when they say any of the following: “I am constantly grateful Read more […]

GC: Posting Selfies With Filters is “Bearing False Witness”

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference is cracking down on members using forgiving filters to enhance their selfies.  “Filters are basically Instagram makeup,” said GC Director Read more […]

Miss Universe Pageant To Be Judged Solely On Inner Beauty

NEW YORK CITY, N.Y. — Officials have announced that the next Miss Universe beauty pageant will be judged solely on the quality of contestants’ inner beauty. Each competitor will be rated on Read more […]

White Estate Releases “What Would Ellen Do?” Bracelets

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The Ellen G. White Estate has released a line of “What Would Ellen Do?” (WWED) bracelets aimed at reminding Adventists of the counsels of the denomination’s prolific co-founder. “WWED Read more […]

Kylie Jenner releases line of Adventist-approved “SabbathLipstick”

LOS ANGELES, Calif. — Fast on her way to billionairedom, reality star  entrepreneur Kylie Jenner has opened yet another line in her cosmetics empire: Adventist-approved SabbathLipstick. According Read more […]