“Cats” So Bad GC Tried To Cancel It
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference announced today that it did its “honest part” to keep box office bomb Cats from being shown in theaters. A delegation from the Adventist headquarters’ Read more […]
Category: Biblical Research Institute
Report: BRI Does Nothing But Play BibleOpoly All Day
BREAKING NEWS SILVER SPRING, Md. — A compliance committee investigation into the daily activities of the Biblical Research Institute staff has revealed that the team of Read more […]
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Adventist found guilty of Sabbath swimming after falling in pool
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The Adventist Supreme Court has found a member guilty of Sabbath swimming despite what he claims was an entirely accidental fall into a friend’s pool. The incident which Read more […]
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General Conference declares monopoly on truth
SILVER SPRING, Md. — In an effort to “clear a few things up and establish unity once and for all”, the General Conference headquarters of the Adventist Church has declared an absolute monopoly on Read more […]
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‘The Sound of Music’ officially approved for Sabbath viewing
SILVER SPRING, Md. — “This is a day or rejoicing for Adventist Sound of Music fans around the world,” said Sabbath Permissions Advocate, Elaine Biggins. “This morning the GC-based Biblical Research Read more […]
