Adventists Split On Whether You Should Dress Up For Online Church

Front row material. ADVENTIST WORLD — Adventists are finding it impossible to agree on whether or not we should all be dressing up for streaming church. According to a survey by the Center for Read more […]

Local Adventist So Bored He’s Reading Church Manual

It’s come to this… PORTLAND, Ore. — Cabin fever reached a new high today for local Adventist, Booker Powell, who took to social media to complain. Powell told worn-out friends he felt more Read more […]

Florida Hospital Building Extra Wings To Accommodate Post COVID-19 Baby Boom

ORLANDO, Fla. — Florida Hospital is aggressively building out extra maternity wings for what health professionals are predicting will be a “post-COVID-19 baby boom like no other.” The network’s Read more […]

Ben Carson Begs Adventists To Stop Panic Buying Stripples

Cool it. WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson has a special message for Adventists during the coronavirus crisis. The Adventist member of President Trump’s cabinet asked his Read more […]

Adventists Living The Dream With Social Distancing

Adventist World — Recent social distancing guidelines imposed on populations around the world have come as music to the ears of countless Adventists who were already remarkably skilled at “us Read more […]

Adventist Potluck Olympics Cancelled

  SILVER SPRING, Md. — The entire Adventist world is fighting back tears at the news that the denomination’s defining event – Potluck Olympics – has been cancelled due to the coronavirus Read more […]