Angry Saint Hunting For EGW Quote For Perfect Comeback

LOMA LINDA, Calif. —- Zader Cruise has spent the last couple hours scouring ellenwhite.org for ammo to give him the upper hand in his long-standing feud with the deputy head deacon at his church. The Read more […]

Trump Attacks China With Choice EGW Quotes

UN TV WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump has used a brand new weapon in his ongoing war of words and trade with China: Ellen G. White quotations. Trump prefaced his recent UN General Read more […]

Choose Your Own Adventure Compilation Makes White Say Whatever You Want

PODUNK, Crazyville – A new “choose your own adventure” compilation of Ellen G. White quotes is flying off the presses at Brimstone Publications. Titled Cherrypicked, the volume contains strongly-worded Read more […]

Game Show Launched: Who Said It – EGW or the Bible?

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Hope Channel has just launched a new trivia game show titled “Who Said It – EGW or the Bible?” The show is an effort to clear up Adventist confusion about the origin of Read more […]

White Estate Releases “What Would Ellen Do?” Bracelets

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The Ellen G. White Estate has released a line of “What Would Ellen Do?” (WWED) bracelets aimed at reminding Adventists of the counsels of the denomination’s prolific co-founder. “WWED Read more […]

Ellen White quote generator discovered in brain of every Adventist parent

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — A worldwide study of the inner workings of the Adventist mind has discovered Ellen White quote generators embedded in the brains of every Adventist parent. Loma Linda Read more […]

Adventist Church claims Ellen White was “Original Wonder Woman”

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The Adventist Church released a statement this afternoon claiming that the denomination’s female cofounder, Ellen White, was the “Original Wonder Woman.” Church leaders Read more […]