Heaven Creates Subdivision For Adventists
HEAVEN – Construction angels have been working overtime lately as an ultra-exclusive gated community in heaven takes shape. The subdivision will only house Adventists and is being built so Read more […]
Category: Peculiar People
Contoversial lawsuit rages over rights to church pew
COLLEGEDALE, Tenn.— Tensions are running at an all-time high at Strident Lane Adventist Church as a lawsuit over the disputed rights to a popular church pew, comes to a boil. At the center Read more […]
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“Persecuted” Adventist really just a jerk
LOS ANGELES, Calif. — Although Bo Ludo has, for years, complained that he is being persecuted for his Adventist faith, a source with (painful) knowledge of his overall situation has confirmed Read more […]
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Adventists called to be like Buddy in Elf: In the world but not of it
ADVENTIST WORLD — Adventists everywhere are being urged by their denomination to watch or re-watch the movie Elf this Christmas. The reason? The main character, Buddy (played by Will Ferrell), Read more […]
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AD-ventists and ad-VENtists not talking to each other
ADVENTIST WORLD — A heated disagreement over how to pronounce the word “Adventist” has led Adventists on either side of the argument to stop speaking to each other. Those convinced that the Read more […]
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Adventist wilderness bunkers selling like crazy after North Korean nuclear test
THE WOODS — Since the latest North Korean nuclear test, Adventist wilderness bunkers have turned into the hottest properties on the real estate market. Previously the exclusive obsession Read more […]
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Report: Fights over potluck remnants threaten to fracture Remnant
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Escalating tensions within the Adventist Church are the subject of a new report which claims that fights over potluck remains are in danger of fracturing the denomination. “Our Read more […]
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Adventists welcome 2019 with Martinelli’s hangovers
EVERYWHERE — After an insane night of discount sparklers, veggie meat platters and non-alcoholic toasts, Adventists grogilly greeted the first daylight of 2019 with throbbing Martinelli’s hangovers. Early Read more […]
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OBG – SLIDESHOW: Awkward Adventist moments
Check out what we dug out from the archives 🙂 Awkwardness happens to all Adventists. That doesn’t make it any less painful when it happens to you… Advertise on BarelyAdventist SPONSORED Read more […]
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Adventist Church hires first Director of Friendship Evangelism
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Citing an urgent need to “start somewhere,” General Conference leaders of the Seventh-day Adventist Church have hired a somber feline by the name of Grumps as the first Read more […]
