The following is a list of things sure to get under an Adventist’s skin. But count it all joy, friends: Trials bring about character!

Adventists believe in the imminent return of Jesus. If you grew up Adventist, you believed Jesus could come at any moment, but like, it was REALLY SOON. Yeah, heaven is going to blow your mind with its beyond-your-comprehension-awesomeness — you can’t wait to wrestle with lions and/or have your own pet panda — but at some point, we bet these secret yearnings crossed your mind.

Ever find yourself in a place where everyone seems to know each other or can name someone you do know within 2 degrees? Do they disappear mysteriously on Friday nights to go to a place called vespers? And do they never seem to drink Coke (at least in public)? Hold on to your hat, Dorothy, because you’re not in Kansas anymore (probably). You may be in an Adventist Bubble.