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Archive for category "Potluck"

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Category: Potluck

Potluck, Sabbath Observance

Final Hour Catering makes potluck dishes on behalf of time-starved Adventists

By sevvy October 27, 2017  chores, Rushed, timesaver 2

ADVENTIST WORLD — Time-starved Adventists who have forgotten to make a potluck dish to bring to church can now order their dish from Adventist-owned Final Hour Catering. “There’s never enough Read more […]

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Potluck

Adventist keeps church hopping to retain visitor status at potluck

By sevvy September 8, 2017  gaming the system 2

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — A lifelong Adventist who moved to Berrien Springs years ago has refused to transfer his membership to a local church. Instead, Jack Jumpur has opted to church hop Read more […]

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Potluck

Adventist Church builds database of people not contributing to potluck

By sevvy August 25, 2017  busted, start washing 11

SILVER SPRING, Md. — A database has been created to track Cheapventists (Adventists known at their local churches for attending potluck without contributing their own dishes.) Since word Read more […]

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Competitive Sports, Potluck

Gordon Ramsay signs up for “Heaven’s Kitchen” Adventist potluck series

By sevvy December 6, 2016  crunch time, pre-sundown, quality control 2

CULVER CITY, Calif. — Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay has decided to add a new show to his current filming schedule. The new series will be called Heaven’s Kitchen and will attempt to single out Read more […]

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Potluck

Adventists reminded not to prepare burnt offerings for Sabbath potluck

By sevvy November 11, 2016  chill, distraction, Old Testament 3

LOMA LINDA, Calif. — Leading Adventist nutritionists are reminding Adventists that burnt offerings are “no longer a thing” and should not make appearances at Sabbath potlucks. “Do not try Read more […]

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Potluck

Pandemonium erupts as Adventist pastor announces potluck is canceled

By sevvy September 3, 2016  last-minute cancelation, Potluck culture 3

MARIETTA, Ga. — A full scale riot erupted at Marietta Central Adventist Church following a last-minute announcement from Senior Pastor, Des Graciado, that potluck last Sabbath had been canceled. Reports Read more […]

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Cartoons, Potluck

Homer Simpson converts to Adventism

By sevvy August 2, 2016  Homer Simpson is Adventist, Simpsons 3

SPRINGFIELD, USA — Homer Simpson is now a Seventh-day Adventist. His new-found religious identity will be unveiled in the long-running show’s 28th season set to debut this fall. Much to the Read more […]

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Potluck

Adventist disfellowshipped after Rice Krispies found in his Special K Loaf

By sevvy July 28, 2016  Rice Krispies, Special K Loaf 11

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Lifelong Adventist and faithful potluck contributor Chip Skeete was disfellowshipped from Collegedale Church after church elders discovered Rice Krispies in the Special Read more […]

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Potluck

GC: Going to potluck without dish is a sin

By sevvy July 2, 2016 41

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists released an update of its list of official sins. The list, which featured such sins as “opening your eyes during prayer,” Read more […]

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Potluck

Adventist with zero spiritual gifts banished to potluck dishwashing duty

By sevvy June 18, 2016  Spiritual gifts, tests 8

CHICO, Calif. — Sondage Mauvais of Chico Seventh-day Adventist Church was notified this week that due to the horrible scores on his spiritual gifts test, he has been assigned to doing the dishes Read more […]

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