Church Bathrooms to Feature Signs Demanding Sabbath Greeters Wash Hands

ADVENTIST WORLD — As of this coming Sabbath, new signage will feature in every Adventist church bathroom. The signs will command church greeters to wash their hands after using the facilities. “The Read more […]

Is paying for something OK on Sabbath if you call it a donation? Adventists speak up.

  Is paying for something OK on Sabbath if you call it a donation? Some Adventists speak up: Spencer Spendthrift, ABC Store Personal Shopper ā€œIt all depends. If a legit Adventist Read more […]

Adventist Fitbit tells Facebook if you went swimming on Sabbath

ADVENTIST WORLD — A new Fitbit, desiged specifically for Adventists has been engineered to post automatic notices to your Facebook wall if it detects that you are swimming on Sabbath. The Read more […]

Adventist boasts amazing ability to make any board game Sabbath-appropriate

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — Setlar Catan, a self-described Adventist “board game fanatic” has quickly become an Adventist celebrity after claiming that he knows how to make absolutely any board game Read more […]

Adventist found guilty of Sabbath swimming after falling in pool

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The Adventist Supreme Court has found a member guilty of Sabbath swimming despite what he claims was an entirely accidental fall into a friend’s pool. The incident which Read more […]

Olive Garden offers pre-pay option for Adventist Sabbath diners

ORLANDO, Fla. — Olive Garden is offering a pre-pay arrangement valid at any of its locations for Adventists that would like to dine between Friday and Saturday sundown. The move will allow Read more […]

‘The Lion King’ approved as Sabbath movie “because it has animals”

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Disney’s The Lion King has been approved by the Adventist Church as an approved “Sabbath movie.” This means that Adventists will be free to watch the animated classic Read more […]

Adventist prays for sun to stand still so she can finish her Friday chores

LONDON, England — An Adventist woman paused in prayer this afternoon, pleading for the sun to stand still so she could finish her long list of chores before sunset. Franically listing the Read more […]

Youth Pastor fired for justifying Sabbath snorkeling as “aquatic nature walk”

GLENDALE, Calif — A Youth Pastor in Southern California has been fired after taking his church teens snorkeling on Sabbath afternoon. “Traditionally, we Adventists can only wade on Sabbath, Read more […]

Final Hour Catering makes potluck dishes on behalf of time-starved Adventists

ADVENTIST WORLD — Time-starved Adventists who have forgotten to make a potluck dish to bring to church can now order their dish from Adventist-owned Final Hour Catering. “There’s never enough Read more […]