MTV relaunches ‘Cribs’ with tour of Southern Asia-Pacific Division of Seventh-day Adventists

NEW YORK, N.Y. — MTV has announced plans to relaunch “Cribs,” the much-loved show which flaunted the incredible residences of rich celebrities. The first new episode will feature a building Read more […]

Adventist Church offers tithing discount if you pay for 2019 upfront

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Seventh-day Adventists have an opportunity to save significantly on their tithing expenses in 2019. The General Conference is giving every baptized member until the end Read more […]

General Conference on global warming: it’s all going to burn anyway

  SILVER SPRING, Md. — Environmentally-conscious Adventists were shocked today as the General Conference released a statement on global warming stating that “environmental conservation Read more […]

GC Stewardship Department employee wins Maryland Lottery

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The winner of the Maryland’s most recent Mega Millions Lottery jackpot has released a statement saying that he is “at once the luckiest and the unluckiest man in Maryland.” With Read more […]

Adventist credit unions to forgive loans every 7th year

GLENDALE, Calif. — In a major policy overhaul, the Association of Adventist Credit Unions (AACU) has announced that all of its member credit unions are instituting a policy guaranteeing Read more […]

Collegedale Church instructs members to bring exact change for offering next Sabbath

COLLEGEDALE, Tenn. — An email titled “URGENT” was sent to the over 3000 members of Collegedale Church this morning in response to what Church Treasurer, Keefer Spears is calling “the longest Read more […]

Soaring toiletry costs panic Adventist families as Soap Craft Pathfinder honor makes comeback

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Panicked Adventist parents from around the world have been bombarding the General Conference Youth Department with news of skyrocketing family toiletry costs. The reason Read more […]

Ted Wilson disfellowships Adventist mafia members

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Taking his cue from the recent move by Pope Francis to excommunicate Italian Mafia members, General Conference President Ted Wilson made a sweeping announcement today Read more […]

Majority of members claim Adventism is too expensive

BERRIEN SPRINGS, Mich. — According to an international survey of 10,000 Adventists conducted by the Andrews University Center for Statistical Analysis, 76% of Seventh-day Adventists feel Read more […]