“We aren’t huge Chris Brown fans here at AUP,” said university spokesperson Chris Sobra, “but Mr. Brown has agreed to cover up those tattoos with a long-sleeved Barong Tagalog. He also committed to learning and singing songs from the Seventh-day Adventist Hymnal exclusively, so we have allowed him to schedule a concert at our Philippine International Church.”
Sobra admitted that although AUP administrators were less than enthused with Brown’s upcoming gig, student excitement has reached stratospheric levels and busloads of Adventists are expected to attend from nearby Adventist International Institute of Advanced Studies (AIIAS) as well. “We weren’t prepared for this level of interest from Adventist students,” said Sobra, “You’d think the Heritage Singers were coming to town.”
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