Chris Brown to perform at Adventist University of the Philippines on fraud forgiveness tour

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Chris Brown will not be flaunting his tattoos at AUP
MANILA, Philippines — Recording artist Chris Brown has agreed to settle with Philippine concert producers Maligaya Development Corp after being accused of defrauding them by neglecting to show for a New Year’s Eve concert for which he had been advanced $1 million. The performer was detained in Manila for three days last month over the controversy and has faced immense legal pressure to cooperate with local authorities. To settle the brewing crisis, Brown agreed to an undisclosed financial payment and has announced a series of “Goodwill Gigs” across the Philippines, perhaps the most unique of which will take place at Adventist University of the Philippines.

“We aren’t huge Chris Brown fans here at AUP,” said university spokesperson Chris Sobra, “but Mr. Brown has agreed to cover up those tattoos with a long-sleeved Barong Tagalog. He also committed to learning and singing songs from the Seventh-day Adventist Hymnal exclusively, so we have allowed him to schedule a concert at our Philippine International Church.”

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Sobra admitted that although AUP administrators were less than enthused with Brown’s upcoming gig, student excitement has reached stratospheric levels and busloads of Adventists are expected to attend from nearby Adventist International Institute of Advanced Studies (AIIAS) as well. “We weren’t prepared for this level of interest from Adventist students,” said Sobra, “You’d think the Heritage Singers were coming to town.”

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7 Comments

  1. I usually find the spokespersons’ names quite clever and ironic. I’m not too fluent in Tagalog, so I’m a little mystified by this spokesman’s name, “Chris Sobra.” I’m guessing you mean “Chris Remnant,” but “sobra” can have several other meanings, such as excess, excessive, how to, refuse, or surplus. Want to clue me in, Sevvy?

    Anyhow, the best line was: ““We weren’t prepared for this level of interest [in Chris Brown] from Adventist students,” said Sobra, “You’d think the Heritage Singers were coming to town.” LOL. How about the King’s Heralds?

    Second best line: “He also committed to learning and singing songs from the Seventh-day Adventist Hymnal exclusively.” Yeah, right. Tell me another one. . . .

  2. Hilarious Clinton

    So is he going to toss out Little Debbie’s and Great Controversies into the audience?

    And he’s going to hide the tattoos with long sleeves? That’s just a big cover-up!

  3. Mr. Chito R Basit

    Anything for money. That’s the adventist way. No biblical proof just plain and personal experiences . Example. If you had worked in an adventist institution in the Philippines ten percent is automatically deducted from your paycheck, no if or buts, you don’t like it leave door is wide open. ( I’m talking ’bout tithe they said). They don’t care if u have family to feed. They think it’s better than stealing? Duhhhhhhhh!!!!!. Adventis don’t steal. How about getting a christian education in PUC, Baesa campus, it doesn’t cost much just an arm and a leg. SUBJECT: Religion: Daniel and the Revelation… Professors.. Domingo San Joaquin and Ernesto Gutierrez I wonder where are they now… I’m sure like to ask them “what the hell they are talking about??!!

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