Church Bathrooms to Feature Signs Demanding Sabbath Greeters Wash Hands

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ADVENTIST WORLD --- As of this coming Sabbath, new signage will feature in every Adventist church bathroom. The signs will command church greeters to wash their hands after using the facilities.

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"The new signage comes as a direct response to complaints that church greeter handshakes feel clammier and more suspect than ever," said a memo explaining the new requirement. "Church members should not have to feel like they need to use a bottle of hand sanitizer every time they are greeted and handed a church bulletin."

Along with the new bathroom regulation, churches have been given strict instructions to send home any greeter caught sneezing into their hands in between handshakes as catching a nasty cold at church makes for anything but a happy Sabbath.


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2 Comments

  1. richee rich

    Right now, I am more concerned about the hands of those who are serving me that infamous potluck dinner. My Little Debbies have been untouched by human hands until I open the package. Voila!!

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