Donald Trump awards Mexico wall contract to ADRA

ADRA isn't sold on this one...
ADRA isn’t sold on this one…
NEW YORK CITY, N.Y. — After months of being pressed for an answer on exactly how he plans to build a wall between the United States and Mexico, real estate mogul Donald Trump has announced that he has awarded the construction contract to the Adventist Development and Relief Agency (ADRA).

The announcement is the latest development in Trump’s controversial plan to stem undocumented immigration into the United States and Trump has clarified that the contract is contingent on him winning the 2016 US presidential election.

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“We were a little surprised to get the news that Donald Trump wants us to build his Mexico wall,” said ADRA International spokesperson, Ing Athering, taking a break from working on goat shipment logistics for the new ADRA Christmas Gift Catalog. “We never even asked to be considered as contractors. We see each ourselves more as bridge builders than wall contractors.”

Athering said that the only reason they have decided to provisionally accept Trump’s Mexico wall construction contract was that ADRA has a long history of responding to disasters in a prompt and meaningful manner. “The election of Donald Trump as US President would provide us with sufficient reason to do what we could to help.”

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9 Comments

  1. What a great name for the ADRA spokesperson, “Ing Athering.” Seems like the venerable old practice of “Ingathering” dried up a generation ago, but I’ll never forget nearly losing my toes to frostbite every winter while trudging door to door, getting doors slammed in my face while trying to gather donations from irritated strangers who would invariably say, “I already gave at the office,” or “Didn’t you see the No Trespassing sign?” or “Are Adventists Jehovah’s Witnesses?” Ah, the good old days!

    • STU REDMAN

      LOL. I REMEMBER THAT TOO. AS A TEEN, I USE TO THINK THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT INGATHERING WAS THE PIZZA PARTY AFTERWARDS. PS: I ONCE ENTERED A BAR AND CLEANED OUT SOME OF THE DRUNKS, MADE OFF WITH OVER $75. LOL. GOOD TIMES.

  2. Milly Rice

    This site is a disgrace. The writer is perpetrating lies in the name of “satire.” Satire is one thing; lies are another. This site is neither one. Shame on you. And you can stop hiding behind that silly screenname “sevvy.” We know who you are; we have identified you as Holden Caulfield of New York. Why not use your time, talent, and effort to write something true and worthwhile, like Catcher in the Rye? Nobody even reads this site anymore; and all the people who write comments are a big bunch of losers.

    • STU REDMAN

      I HEAR ADVENTIST COLLEGES WILL SEND STUDENTS TO HELP BUILD THE WALL INSTEAD OF MISSION TRIPS TO BUILD SCHOOLS. NO PASSPORT NEEDED, NO VACCINES, CELL PHONE COVERAGE 24/7. CHIK FIL A NEAR BY.

    • Lizzy

      I resent the fact that you wrongly assume that those of us who write comments are “big losers” (partly as you yourself have commented), also you say that no one reads this anymore and yet you read it and admitted that people comment. I make the choice now to be a “good”adventist and tether then express my anger towards you I will do the Godly thing and pray that what every trial you are facing in life at the moment to cause such a slightly aggressive reaction is resolved soon.

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