The letter had scarcely been opened before Stahp resolved to casually drop the fact that her son had been awarded a college scholarship into every single conversation she would be having for the foreseeable future.
“My son just got a scholarship to a private Adventist college, and he’ll probably be a brain surgeon,” Stahp recently informed a hapless political pollster during a two-hour conversation. “So you might be calling about his campaign someday.”
Although relatives familiar with Union’s scholarship program gently informed her that $6,500 per year is given to all students and that her son’s tuition could have been waived entirely if he’d done better on his SATs, Stahp was determined not to let the facts get in the way of her zeal to show off.
When not talking about the scholarship or the individualized attention that would be showered upon her son at a smaller school like Union, a faux-sheepish Stahp shared the fact that there are almost twice as many female students as there are males at Union. “I give Husker until next Christmas to be married to a cute Adventist girl. Then we can start talking grandchildren.”
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