GRANITE BAY, Calif. --- In Doug Batchelor news completely unrelated to the papacy or women's ordination, the much-discussed Seventh-day Adventist Evangelist announced an emotional reunion with his long-lost twin brother who turns out to be an American scientist, Nobel prize winner and a professor at Columbia University named Martin Chalfie.
"It was truly amazing to meet him, he wears his mustache just like me," said Batchelor. He stressed that he was shocked to learn of Chalfie as the two had been separated at birth and had experienced entirely different upbringings.
An equally surprised Chalfie said that although he and his Adventist brother look alike, he himself has never even vaguely contemplated living in a cave. Chalfie also said that, in stark contrast to the surprisingly agile Batchelor, he does not do backflips in front of crowds. "Honestly, I'm a little jealous that those acrobatic abilities weren't shared with me," admitted Chalfie. "One backflip in a lecture would earn me all kinds of street cred with my students at Columbia."
Never one to shy away from new life experiences, Batchelor openly mused on his Facebook page about checking in with Chalfie to see if he would be OK with a week-long life-swap: "I could start doing university lectures on chemistry and maybe he could run a Week of Prayer. We'll see if anyone notices."
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