False prophets predicting Oscar winners

The 85th Academy Awards® will air live on Oscar® Sunday, February 24, 2013.
Flee false prophets.

SILVER SPRING, Md. — The General Conference headquarters of the Adventist Church has sent out a special warning to its membership about false prophets that are predicting Oscar winners this year.

“There are exactly zero references to this year’s Academy Awards in Daniel, Revelation or any other biblical book,” read the alert from the GC. “The same goes for any of Sister White’s writings.”

All kidding aside, click to learn more about Union College

The GC said that the only predictable thing about the Oscars was that they would celebrate films that “none of us should have gone to see at the theater.”

The only Oscar-nominated films the GC has authorized for home viewing are documentaries. Church leadership said that if an Oscar category could be added for ‘Best Sabbath Nature Video’ they would consider endorsing that too.


Advertise on BarelyAdventist

SPONSORED LINKS

You’ve had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.

Check out the Sonscreen Film Festival!

Share your Adventist faith & lifestyle through cool awesome t-shirts | SDAshirts.com

.

2 Comments

  1. richeerich

    Who’s that guy from Andrews that goes around checking out the films for SDA’s? What is his take on this? Why do SDA’s have to go to the movies anyway? Stay home and watch the stuff in your privacy! Gimme some more Little Debbies between film breaks.

  2. Instead of accusing folks of being false Prophets, how about you take it to the Father in Prayer, or do what the Bible says to test the Spirits. 1Jn 4:1 My dear friends, many false prophets are in the world now. So don”t believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see if they are from God. As the Bible says Jas 3:8 But no one can control the tongue. It is wild and evil, full of deadly poison. We need to quit ridiculing the body of Christ and lift each other up! custom written essays

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *