APOPKA, Fla. — “Forest Lake Academy appears to have begun the process of chipping away at the Adventist wedding market currently dominated by the likes of Southern and Walla Walla,” commented North American Division Education Department spokesperson Deena Casada.
The education official’s comments came in response to news from Forest Lake Academy that last night’s Junior/Senior Banquet had been a front for a mass wedding of 20 FLA seniors. Due to the fact that each of the grooms and brides had already turned 18, FLA Class Spokesperson Gladden Hitch said that the school had decided to honor their wedding wishes.
“We went back and forth for several weeks on whether or not to go ahead with the banquet/wedding,” said Hitch. “In the end everyone seemed to agree that the whole point of our academy banquets is to promote healthy, Christian romance. What better way to celebrate true love than a mass wedding so close to graduation?”
Anticipating critics’ arguments, Hitch described last night’s ceremony as “beautiful and heartfelt.” Hitch emphasized that the school was not condoning an irresponsible approach to marriage and that early weddings “have always been a thing” in Adventism. “Ellen White herself got married at 17,” said Hitch, “So, if anything, we played it safe.”