SILVER SPRING, Md. --- Adventists can kiss kissing at weddings goodbye.
As part of a General Conference campaign to enforce modesty standards across the world church, the world headquarters has imposed a blanket ban on wedding kisses.
"I don't care what culture you are from, kissing is something you can do on your own time behind closed doors," said General Conference Modesty Standards Director, Daniel Beso. "We can't afford to have different rules for different parts of the world on something as basic as a wedding kiss."
Part of Beso's reasoning in regards to the kissing ban is what he calls the 'slippery slope': "Technically, a quick peck is probably fine but it rarely stops there. Kids getting married these days subject their wedding guests to the most ridiculous smoochfests... it's just too much," said Beso.
The official has been doing his best to lead by example over the last couple years by angrily shouting "Get a room!" at happy couples in weddings attempting their first kiss as newlyweds.
The Modesty Standards Director says that he encourages Adventists to think of modest alternatives to kissing in wedding ceremonies. "We as a people have always been good at finding Adventist alternatives to cool activities," said Beso. "Why not try a warm handshake after our minsters pronounce couples husband and wife? Or even a tasteful high-five?"
Although he has faced stiff pushback from Adventists, Beso says that he shall not be moved. "If you want kissing for your wedding, you can save that for your wedding night."