GC Bans Singing Of Side-By-Side

Just don’t…


SILVER SPRING, Md. —Along with postponing this summer’s General Conference Session to next year, the headquarters of the Adventist Church has banned members from singing the Adventist favorite Side-By-Side.

“This particular chorus, however near to everyone’s hearts, is the last thing we should be singing these days,” said the statement.

The GC explained that Adventists have a “particular weakness for this song and have a tendency to stand far too close, often holding hands or throwing arms around each others’ shoulders.”

The message called the song a “super spreader that could get us all in big trouble with the WHO.”

The GC also warned against tempting fate by singing “It Only Takes a Spark.”


SPONSORED LINKS

You’ve had your fix of satire. Now head over to Adventist Today for current events updates, analysis and opinion on all things Adventist.

.

(Visited 597 times, 1 visits today)

3 Comments

  1. Richard Mills

    Change a few words of the song. “Social distance is all the rage.
    It’s a new song for a new age. Social distance we stand, no more hand in hand. No more hugging&kissing. You know it’s a lot we are missing. Look the members in the eye. I’ll see you in the sweet bye&bye”. Did Jesus use “social distance” when He healed? When He preached? The money changers in the temple, etc? I’ll post some more SDA-Social Distance Advisory hymns as the virus moves forward. MAGA-make adventism great again NOW!!

  2. Richard Mills

    Change a few words of the song. “Social distance is all the rage.
    It’s a new song for a new age. Social distance we stand, no more hand in hand. No more hugging&kissing. You know it’s a lot we are missing. Look the members in the eye. I’ll see you in the sweet bye&bye”. Did Jesus use “social distance” when He healed? When He preached? The money changers in the temple, etc? I’ll post some more SDA-Social Distance Advisory hymns as the virus moves forward. MAGA-make adventism great again NOW!!

  3. Richard Mills

    Here are a few more hymns to sing during this virus thing-
    Tune-Jesus Loves Me This I know–
    I wash my hands every day. That is what Dr. Trump had to say.
    No more shaking our hands, stay six feet away where you stand.
    Yes, wash your hands thoroughly, And keep six feet away. Yes, wash ’em very thoroughly.
    The government tells me so.

    Tune-Tis Almost Time-
    It’s almost time to wash my hands. This is what I hear Dr. Fuaci say.
    The lights in town are already dim. It must be another coronavirus day.
    Oh, it must be another coronavirus day. It’s gonna be another fearful day. DonaldTrump in the TV. For you&me and all to see. Telling us
    to wash our hands in a special way.

    Last one-I promise . Tune-When Roll is called up yonder-
    The President, Donald Trump shall sound, and all of us are watching the TV. And the coronavirus is making us sick. All the rest of us are home bound with the virus. And the Walmart is open early I’ll be there.
    When the Aldi store is open, and Starbucks’ line is long. When the restaurants are finally open. When everything is finally open, I’ll be there.

    The tunes maybe copyrighted& trademarked, but my thought are not.
    HAPPY SABBATH

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *