GC to Carson: “Say you’re Baptist”

Ben Carson receives the Presidential Medal of Freedom
Ben Carson receives the Presidential Medal of Freedom
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Scrutiny of the Seventh-day Adventist Church is intensifying by the day as Adventist retired neurosurgeon and US presidential candidate, Dr. Ben Carson has begun to establish himself as the new Republican front-runner.

Adventist leaders, distraught at some of Carson’s polarising comments are desperately trying to distance the church from the candidate.  Their latest tactic has been to suggest that he presents himself as a Baptist.

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“What we’re asking for is no big deal,” said General Conference Director of Reversals, O. Streedg Sand.  “We really aren’t that different from the Baptists.  Switch out the day, bring back everlasting hell and start eating ham and you’re basically good to go.”

Dr. Carson could even claim Seventh-day Baptist afilliation if he wanted to, said Sand, “we just need our phones to stop ringing 24/7.”

Sand said that the Seventh-day Adventist Church hadn’t gotten this much unwanted PR “since the whole Waco thing back in ’93.  And Koresh wasn’t even Adventist. This time the headlines will be way worse.”

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54 Comments

  1. Richard Mills

    What is the GC afraid of? Will all this notariety bring disaster upon the SDA church & membership? Can persecution be far behind? Get thee behind me, GC!! I know it’s satire, but the truth is too close here! Woe is me!!

  2. STU REDMAN

    IS IT ENOUGH TO SAY YOU ARE “CHRISTIAN” OR MUST WE DECLARE MEMBERSHIP TO A DENOMINATION?
    SALVATION IS IN AND THRU CHRIST AND HIM ALONE. MEMBERSHIP AND COMPLIANCE WITH RULES AND REGS OF A DENOMINATION WONT CUT IT.

    NICE PHOTO. I MET PRES G BUSH ONCE IN CHICAGO. NICE MAN. CLAIMS HE IS CHRISTIAN.

  3. Danilvy

    This is just my opinion if this article is authentic and not just another one made up by the media. To me what the GC is doing is bringing bad publicity to themselves. The GC should size this opportunity to make the Seventh Day Adventist known. God is in control, not them. God will allow things to happen according to his plans, not the GC’s plans.

  4. Ray Kraft

    LOL! It’s way too late for the Adventist church to escape from the long tentacles of President Dr. Ben!

    I just can’t wait ’til Bill Maher finds out that Ellen G. White says that dinosaurs were “an amalgamation of man and beast,” and that “secret vice” is the leading cause of death, disease, and insanity!

  5. Sam Spade

    Dr. Carson rebuked the liberal media for trying to stir up a scandal over his untruthful claim of a West Point scholarship: “”There’s got to be a scandal. There’s got to be some nurse he’s had an affair with. There’s got to be something.’ They have gotten desperate,” Carson said. “Next week, it will be my kindergarten teacher who said I peed in my pants. It’s ridiculous. But it’s OK because I totally expect it.” http://www.cnn.com/2015/11/06/politics/ben-carson-responds-violent-past-new-day/

  6. David

    Satire: “the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like”

    That means it’s all a big joke. Don’t take everything you read on the internet seriously folks. Let’s wait to see what Dr Carson does or does not do, then let’s make some informed comments.

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