The statement referred to last night’s headline-grabbing announcement by the American rapper, songwriter, record producer and fashion designer as he accepted a lifetime achievement award at the MTV Video Music Awards. After a lengthy acceptance speech, Kanye ended with, “And, yes, as you probably could have guessed in this moment, I have decided in 2020 to run for president.”
The General Conference reaction was swift: “We’ve learned our lesson as far as predicting days or hours of the world’s ending but if Mr. West wins the 2020 presidential election, we are confident that the world would end before he was sworn in,” said Director of Ill-Advised Speculation, Duhms Day, at a hastily assembled press conference.
“While my son assures me that Mr. West has ‘mad beats,’ it is the position of the General Conference senior leadership that Mr. West’s election would be the most catastrophic thing yet to hit America,” said Day. “We’d even take Ben Carson over Mr. West.”
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