Grumpy church greeter barks “Happy Sabbath” at innocent passersby

Happy Sabbath...
Happy Sabbath…
GLENDALE, Ariz.. — Foot traffic outside Glendale City Church was disrupted this morning as passersby were accosted with angry barks of “Happy Sabbath” coming from a church greeter. ¬†Eyewitnesses say¬†Sven Surgubbe aggressively dished out his greeting to anyone within earshot while menacingly waiving this week’s church bulletin.

Glendale police officers were summoned after several complaints about Surgubbe were filed by parents of scared children. Surgubbe denied any wrongdoing but did take the opportunity to complain to Glendale PD that he was upset at being scheduled for greeting “on a straight-up inhumane three out of four Sabbaths this month.”

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Unimpressed officers stayed the length of the church service to discuss Surgubbe’s conduct with the pastoral staff. They only left after repeated assurances that Surgubbe would be alleviated of his greeting duties and instead be placed on a back-kitchen potluck prep rotation where he could be a little less of a public witness.


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  1. bugs

    Hey, I live near Glendale in Mesa, AZ, and at my usual Sabbath morning stop off at my local Starbucks for a cup of powerful, now proclaimed healthy, Joe this morning, some kid came to my table led by his mommy, interrupted my review of this Barely Adventist site by singing Happy Sabbath to you, tuned to Happy Birthday. He dropped off a signed copy of Great Controversy on my table, waited patiently while I deposited a dime in his cup to get him and her to vamoose (I thought for a moment I was in Mexico). I held the book up with a feigned note of awe and announced to the startled coffee klatchers that is the script for the final Star Wars movie. I turned my head for a moment, someone grabbed and ran out the door with it. I think it was a Hollywood producer. No anger, though. Management did inform them not to come back and no, they don’t have Postum.

  2. Sven Surgubbe has a pretty good name, Swedish for “angry man.” He’s quite the opposite of the greeter at a church where I visit sometimes, who is so friendly and kind that I actually want to return. These “directors of first impressions” should be carefully selected.

  3. Richard Mills

    What’s with this “Happy Sabbath” bit? I hear it every week. Most do it by rote-no real meaning. Why not “Happy Monday”, etc.? The Sabbath is about half over when SDA’s use this phrase. I like the Spanish version much better-“Felice Sabado, amigos”. This phrase comes under the “I can’t hear you” when we are often greeted in the church service. Let’s get rid of it. It ain’t in the Bible. It ain’t in the SOP!! Any way-Happy Barely Adventist to all of you. Don’t worry-Be HAPPY!! I’m in right, down right, out right HAPPY all the time. Woe iz me!!

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