Thanking God for ending the terrible romantic drought that had devastated their congregation lately, local singles jumped to their feet and headed over to say hi to the new arrivals.
In the two minutes of meet n’ greet chitchat that ensued, Lonely Souls members set a record for the number of creative ways to mix greetings of “Happy Sabbath” with innovative protocols aimed at discovering whether or not the visitors were single.
Instead of returning to their seats for the rest of the service, single church members sat in a cluster surrounding the newbies, dying for the chance to share a hymn book with them.
By the end of the sermon each of the visitors had been invited to potluck, AY, a hike and ping pong night.
As the congregation filed out of the sanctuary after the benediction, the newcomers were offered expidited membership transfers.
Advertise on BarelyAdventist