SILVER SPRING, Md. --- Due to the very sensitive nature of the agenda for this year's General Conference Annual Council, the Adventist Church has hired outside help to preside over the meetings.
Daytime TV celebrity, Judge Judy, confirmed that she will be in charge of the highly charged meetings at the Adventist headquarters.
"I hear there are some people coming to the meetings that have their doubts about women in leadership positions," said the judge. "Whatever goes down during Annual Council I promise to disabuse them of any false assumptions about what women can or cannot do."
Known for her tough adjudicating, Judge Judy told Adventist reporters that she had thoroughly studied up on the 790-page GC working policy ahead of Annual Council.
"I felt like I was prepping for the bar before the introduction of universal suffrage," she said, rolling her eyes.
Promising not to spare church leaders the gavel or her jewelry, Judge Judy said that she will allow "no shenanigans during the meetings, nuclear or otherwise."