RIVERSIDE, Calif. --- An annual General Conference report has found that, despite the best efforts of Adventist undergraduate schools around the world, "an alarming percentage of Adventist college students now graduate without so much as a penciled-in wedding date on the horizon."
While the report has sent church leaders scrambling for solutions to what many consider a threat to the very foundations of Adventist higher education, La Sierra University spokesperson Ventist Tindher pointed to La Sierra's graduate school as a beacon of hope to single Adventists who are still on the prowl after college.
"Our hearts go out to you if those undergrad banquets were rough or if you were stood up for a vespers date," said Tindher. "Our La Sierra graduate programs give you a second chance at finding your Adventist soul mate. Plus, we now offer 25% off grad school tuition."
Tindher said that he and his La Sierra colleagues work tirelessly at the grad school because they "firmly believe that no Adventist should be made to feel desperate enough to put themselves on AdventistMatch.com or, worse yet, enroll in Loma Linda's Dental Hygiene program just to get a date after college."
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