Livid Adventists Protest Potluck Shutdown

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WORLDWIDE — General Conference servers have crashed every Sabbath since coronavirus concerns forced the shuttering of churches almost everywhere.

A torrent of angry complaint emails are behind the server troubles as Adventists vent about the disruption to their potluck schedules.

“Members around the world have had enough,” said Adventist Potluck Rights Advocate, S. Kay Loagh.

“This draconian ban on one of the best things about being Adventist cannot continue.”

Loagh said that while Adventists have appreciated church service and Bible study streaming, denominational leaders need to get their heads together and figure out how exactly to ensure that Adventists can soon return to going to town on heavily-laden paper plates stacked with veggie lasagna and tofu scramble.

“This is critical,” warned Loagh, “our very identity as over-eating haystacks fanatics is being challenged.”

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