PORTLAND, Ore. --- Cabin fever reached a new high today for local Adventist, Booker Powell, who took to social media to complain.
Powell told worn-out friends he felt more cooped up at home than he did as a teen, in his academy dorm room, after curfew, on a Saturday night.
Exasperated at the lack of originality in his friends' indoor activity suggestions and wholly incapable of generating any better ones himself, Powell dusted off a copy of the SDA church manual.
As he began reading page after page of instruction about the governance, operations and functions of local churches, Powell's struggle quickly shifted from a feeling of imprisonment to an overpowering urge to take a lavish, sermon-style nap.
Much to the relief of his Facebook friends, he gave in.