Loma Linda Boot Camp Makes You Run Like It’s The Time Of Trouble

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LOMA LINDA, Calif. --- Inland Empire residents looking to get in shape for the new year need look no further than a Loma Linda University boot camp that forces participants to run like they are being persecuted.

Time Of Trouble Boot Camp trainees are taught to escape high speed chases on foot while carrying substantial rations of Big Franks in a backpack.

Due to the lack of caves in the Loma Linda area, boot campers have been known to burst into crowded lecture halls, wild-eyed and pouring with sweat as they desperately dive behind furniture to hide from trainers.

The unorthodox training methods have garnered rave reviews from terrified participants who claim they have shed pounds like never before.

The success of the boot camp has spawned several copycat programs. La Sierra's version is called Hot Pursuit and Andrews has one called Tornado Warning.


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2 Comments

  1. Richard Mills

    There is no escape. Big Brother has drones in the sky to watch over you. My sources in D.C. says that Washington SDA college has a camp called “Trump is calling you”. M.A.G.A.–Make Adventism Great Again ing 2020- See ya at the Indy GC., Booth 1844 & 2300.

  2. Richard Mills

    There is no escape. Big Brother has drones in the sky to watch over you. My sources in D.C. says that Washington SDA college has a camp called “Trump is calling you”. M.A.G.A.–Make Adventism Great Again in 2020- See ya at the Indy GC., Booth 1844 & 2300.

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