LOMA LINDA, Calif. --- Adventist churches in the Loma Linda area have taken it upon themselves to set a good example during the coronavirus outbreak. Instead of shaking members' hands to wish them a Happy Sabbath, church greeters will, at most, usher a Sabbath fist bump.
Communion footwashing is on indefinite pause as Loma Linda University Health epidemiologists have warned those little basins are petri dishes primed for disaster.
Local congregations have also stationed ushers that will act as bouncers ready to sternly eject anyone who sneezes during the service.
Members have been warned against fake sneezing just to get out of long sermons.