SILVER SPRING, Md. --- Earlier today, a canoe flying the General Conference flag was seized by a North American Division kayak patrol that claimed the vessel had strayed into the NAD corner of the lake at Bible Camp in Sizzle, Maryland.
The canoe and its occupants were swiftly taken to an NAD dock where the boat was securely tied up by Oshkosh-good Masterguides.
The GC has convened its Emergency Canoe Safety Compliance Committee and has drafted a very strongly-worded letter demanding the return of the vessel and staffers.
The NAD said that the GC rowers are safe and are currently digging into haystacks under the watchful eye of ordained female ministers.