North American Division to move into local Dave & Busters

This NAD accountant says he welcomes the new work environment
This NAD accountant says he welcomes the move to a new work environment
SILVER SPRING, Md. — North American Division officials have revealed that their offices will be relocated from their present location in the General Conference building to the Dave & Busters restaurant and entertainment complex in nearby Hanover, Md.

The initial decision to leave the GC building was announced last year and was widely interpreted as a field tactic by NAD administrators trying to distance themselves from overbearing GC leadership.

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“We sorta got ahead of ourselves when we announced that we were leaving the GC building but had no real destination,” said NAD spokesperson Charles Cheese. “Some have compared us to an angry tween who runs away from home with nowhere to go. I will have them know that we are far more adult in our outlook: We are going to Dave & Busters.”

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The move to the food and entertainment destination is a deliberate attempt to “tap into a dynamic, creative and joyous environment while living in the world but not being of it,” said Cheese. “Also, their chicken wings are to die for.”


  1. Is the “NAD spokesman,” Mr. Charles Cheese, any relation to Chuck E. Cheese? Could there be a conflict of interest? Just wondering.

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    • Ray Kraft

      I don’t think there’s a conflict of interest, if Mr. Charles Cheese were really a spokesman for Chuck E Cheese I would expect the NAD to be moving into, say, offices on the top floors of a Chucky Cheese.

  2. Sister Mary Benedictine

    Maybe the rent can be paid with the tickets that employees will collect from winning arcade games. Morale boosting AND cost-effective.

    • Ray Kraft

      You’re a genius! Video games! That’s the ticket! To spreading the truth!

      Just imagine!

      “Which Day is the Sabbath?” VG. “The State of the Dead” VG. “Is Eating Meat a Sin” VG. “Are Wedding Rings a Sin?” VG. “Who Are The 144,000?” VG. “Creation or Evolution?” VG. “Is It A Sin To Be Addicted To Adventists Video Games” VG.

      The church will rake in gazillions!

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