Obama to teach constitutional law at Oakwood in 2017

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Not long now…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Barack Obama brought years of speculation to an end this morning by announcing what he plans to do after his presidency. As of mid-January next year, Obama will return to his former occupation of teaching constitutional law. He announced that instead of teaching in Chicago as before, he was moving to Huntsville to join the faculty of Oakwood University.

“I feel best when I am interacting with young, bright college minds,” said Obama. He said that after years of struggling with election-cycle pressures, congressional gridlock and international crises, teaching in Alabama would be “a breath of fresh air.”

Obama’s announcement could not come at a better time for Oakwood which has had to cut its workforce substantially as Adventist college enrollment suffers across the United States. As soon as Obama’s announcement became official it was relayed to faculty, staff and students in a memo titled “The Audacity of Hope.”

The president pledged to teach at Oakwood for free so as to not further strain the institution’s budget. Asked whether he and his family would be able to manage forfeiting the more lucrative career paths typically taken by former presidents, Obama smiled: “Yes, we can.”

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11 Comments

  1. Quite clever, sevvy, that Obama’s announcement was relayed to Oakwood in a “memo titled ‘The Audacity of Hope.'” This “memo” sounds faintly reminiscent of his second book that was a bestseller in the fall of 2006! While he is clarifying constitutional law to the Oakwoodites, maybe he should clarify that God sees the heart, as well.

  2. Ted Cruz-control

    Since when does Oakwood have a law school? And since when is Obama qualified to teach? Yeah, I know he used to teach law before, but that doesn’t mean he was really qualified to teach the Constitution, ’cause he doesn’t know anything about the Second Amendment. Just look at the executive order that he had the audacity to issue a few days ago, abridging our right to bear arms! That’s why I need to be President. I would put a chicken in every pot, a car in every garage, and a gun in every hand.

  3. Ben Carsinogen

    What a fool I made of myself when I humiliated a 5th-grade boy for being the worst student, and then I got shredded on social media. You would think that I, a brain surgeon, would use my brain a little more. I’m sorry, folks. Don’t worry; if I’m elected President, I’ll never do that again. I’ll act “presidential” like Prez. Obama.

  4. Calvin Wesley

    Some people believe in salvation by works. (God will love you if you keep the law, or at least if your good deeds outweigh your bad deeds.)

    Some folks believe in salvation by doing your best. (You do your best, and Jesus does the rest.)

    Some folks believe in salvation by church-attendance. (You can go to heaven if you sit through enough church services.)

    Some people believe in salvation by theology. (If you memorize a certain list of doctrines, you’re virtually guaranteed a spot inside the pearly gates.)

    Others believe in salvation by grace through faith. (Jesus does it all. And to know Him is to love Him.)

  5. Richard Mills

    Perhaps Obama will hold his students’ attention like Obama paid attention in Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s church in Chicago or Bill Ayers seminars on how to be a community agitator. Say it ain’t so. Why is this forum all about politics in 2016?? Woe iz me!!

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