Report: Adventists WAY more productive one hour before Friday sunset

BERRIEN SPINGS, Mich. — A major study into the lifestyles of Seventh-day Adventists has revealed that per hour productivity of most church members skyrockets in the hour directly preceding Friday Read more […]

Bird trumps Magic’s $550K Oakwood donation with $650K for Indiana Academy

WEST BADEN SPRINGS, Ind. — In a sign that the decades-long rivalry between two basketball greats is far from over, former Celtics star Larry Bird has bested a donation that Earvin ā€œMagicā€ Read more […]

Magic Johnson admits to authoring BarelyAdventist

LOS ANGELES, Calif. — After a mysterious silence of two years, the blogger behind Adventist humor and satire site BarelyAdventist has been revealed as retired American professional basketball Read more […]

Adventist Church: You can’t pray for Game of Thrones characters

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Leaders of the Seventh-day Adventist Church have released a statement reminding church members that praying for Game of Thrones characters is “a completely fruitless exercise.” General Read more […]

Adventist chart wins Guinness World Record for “Most Confusing Illustration”

LONDON, England — The Seventh-day Adventist Church has set a fresh GuinnessĀ World Record for Most Confusing Illustration. Guinness spokesperson Naka Lilito said that the organization’s judges Read more […]

Video: Union College therapist counsels clinically depressed math book

This cracked us up. Have a great weekend, everyone! http://youtu.be/iRBy4kKmhVY SPONSORED LINKS Where single Adventists meet. Free 2-year membership. Divorced, widowed and never married welcome. Read more […]

Walla Walla recalls single grads for fresh try at college/marriage

COLLEGE PLACE, Wash. — Walla Walla University has issued a recall of all unmarried graduates of the school. Anyone in possession of a Walla Walla graduation diploma is entitled to free tuition Read more […]

Haystacks Oath of Allegiance added to Adventist baptismal vows

SILVER SPRING, Md. — Seventh-day Adventist baptismal vows have been updated to reflect what church leaders are calling “undeniable cultural realities.” In addition to the usual list of mostly Read more […]

Southwest Airlines buys Southwestern Adventist University

DALLAS, Texas — Southwest Airlines has announced the acquisition of Southwestern Adventist University in a bid to rebrand the school as “THE Low Fare College Ride.” The airline’s first venture Read more […]